The Issue of Submission

No, it is not in mere men that we trust. Ultimately our faith must be placed in God. And being submissive is not about becoming a doormat. Neither is submission a passive posture. In fact, submission is an active decision to put yourself in a position to be blessed by God. Submission is being a team player, whether in your marriage, in your job, or in the church. It’s allowing someone else to lead at critical moments to that person’s benefit and your own. In marriage it is the highest form of cooperation. It is proof of your trust in God. When you’re married, submitting to your husband empowers him to take his rightful positions in the family—leader, provider, and protector.
Now, life does happen. Your husband may not always be able to fulfill one of those roles at particular times or seasons of his life. This doesn’t lessen who he is or what his roles are in the eyes of God. When your mate is struggling, take the opportunity to strengthen your relationship by building him up and trusting God to fill in the gaps.
Submission empowers you as a couple to move in mutual cooperation, taking one another’s weaknesses and strengths into consideration, so that life is balanced between you accordingly. What this looks like will vary from couple to couple. We need to never force our mates into a stereotype or mold that doesn’t fit them. Each of us have been given specific gifts, and not all of us have the same strengths. Based on this knowledge, you and your mate will determine how your household will run. For instance, you may be better with money than your husband, so the area of finance may be delegated to you. He may be better at negotiating, so making large purchases may fall within his area of responsibility.
The conclusive word on submission in the Word of God is that we are called to submit to each other. This means no one is above or below another. Instead, we’re matched strength for strength in the spirit of respecting, complementing, and honoring one another. No one is less than the other. Woman was created to be a “help meet” for man; therefore, she was created for a position of strength.
Contrary to modern belief, “submission” isn’t a dirty word and doesn’t call for subservience. To believe that it is those things is to fall into the trap the enemy has set for all human relationships. The devil wants to sow discord and disharmony. He wants us to be in conflict. But in God’s creation, whether it be in romance or employment, there must be order for ventures to be successful. There must be an acknowledgement of roles and positions. Even in heaven there is a hierarchy. So we need to be clear on our position and make no comparisons because we submit in God’s name so all praise and honor goes to Him.
When we seek power for ourselves, strife and evil wiggle into our relationships. But as we walk in the best interest of one another, we submit to one another in a way that creates harmony and synergy. Love and good fruit grow in this environment of trust and faith. As we see the power of submission at work in our lives, we’re able to embrace it as a friend. Make it the silent partner in your relationships, and let it champion you to live the best life possible.

An excerpt from Michelle’s new book Getting Smart About Life, Love and Men. Order your copy from or today!

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