Ending the Fantasy

I wish love just happened but it doesn’t. If you don’t work your relationship, your relationship will not work. That means you have to dig in, do the work to keep your love alive and thriving. That means you have to communicate. Have meetings to handle your business. The business of love that is! Any company that wants to grow takes the time to take stock of their progress, locate the weak links, what is not working and reconfgure accordingly. Don’t leave your emotions open to assumptions. My mother always used to say, the word assume broken down makes an “ass of you and me!” The donkey version, not the curse word version :) But it is true. Things are never what they seem, therefore do not assume. Ask questions, speak the truth in love, help your partner love you. They won’t know how to unless you tell them and show them. Be a living example of what you expect. Don’t frustrate your partner with unspoken expectations. Misplaced expectations are the enemy of every relationship. Guard against it. Nurture a non-threatening environment to share honestly how you are feeling and what you need from your partner. When they get something right celebrate what they did so they will do it again! Take your time, breathe in, breathe out and calmly state your case minus attitude. Don’t make your partner feel as if they need to defend themselves, empower them to want to meet your need. First examine if you are meeting their needs, don’t leave yourself open to the distraction of their unmet needs while highlighting yours! There is no room for pride in a relationship. Jesus thought it not robbery to leave the lofty halls of heaven to come and die for us. We too must be willing to die to our “rights” and discover our rights hidden in Christ. There is a difference between having a healthy understanding of your value and being ruled by pride. One knows how God wants you to be treated versus how you want to be treated. And remember Gods standard will always be higher than yours! In this life, there are  no lights, camera, action in the romance department.  No quick fixes that magically happen. That means we have to keep it real! While being really loving. Pursuing peace, growth and reconciliation. That is the purpose of relationship, to make us all closer to God and one another. In the end  He is glorified and His kingdom multiplies because you make Him look good in your relationship. So end the fantasy of being whisked away on a white horse and be willing to walk it out with your partner. Trust me, it works!

Write a comment