Don’t Give Too Much, Too Soon

Excerpt taken from Secrets of an Irresistible Women by Michelle McKinney Hammond

“I gave myself to him, and he threw my love back in my face as if it were a piece of trash.” How many times have you heard that comment or sounded it yourself? The truth is most women give too much, too soon. They immediately tell men too much about their past experiences and overload them with too much present emotional data. Remember when your mother told you it behooves you to be a tad mysterious with men? She was right! A man wants you to be honest, but he doesn’t want you to be that honest. Do you really want to hear about all his past relationships? All of them? Sometimes that information can be helpful but sometimes it can be damaging. It’s safer for you to have more data on him than he has on you. Let me explain that this is not about being deceitful. It’s about judging what information his heart can handle without him looking at you in a judgmental light.

It seems to be more acceptable for a man to speak about all of his past relationships because society (the world at large) generally promotes this type of behavior on a man’s part. However, deep within a man’s psyche he’s still in search of a virgin to marry. He might play around with a loose woman, but when it comes to marry her he wants a woman he can trust. He is in search of a Principles woman. When you tell him about all your past relationships, he stores that information and it colors his view of you. After all, you are a Principles woman, you’re not suppose to do that. You were suppose to be sitting somewhere, praying and waiting for him. And while God is faithful to forgive your past mistakes in relationships, men have a harder time with that. So while he’s sitting there spilling his guts to you about all his past problems with women, don’t take that as a cue to spill all your beans. Keep you business to yourself, that’s why it’s call your business! Just nod understandingly, learn what you can about him from what he tells you, and say, “Well, we all have had bad experiences, and hopefully we learned from them.”

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