Colossians 3:15 says to “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” Another translation of this verse urges you to allow peace to be the referee or umpire in your heart. This makes sense if you have ever been to a baseball game. The player hits the ball and takes off running. The fielder catches the ball and throws it to first base. The runner and ball get there at the same time. The fans who are rooting for the runner insist that he was safe. Those rooting for the defensive team insist that he was out. Both believe what they saw.

The point is, what you want has a lot to do with what you see. If you want this person to be right for you, you tend to only see things that confirm your feelings. But if you allow peace to be the umpire, your heart will be able to rest in the fact that at the right time the right man will declare his love and commitment for you. That peace will enable you to see things as they really are and make the right call on your relationship.

When the runner and the ball have arrived at the base at the same time, no matter what the fans believe they saw, the umpire gives a signal for either safe or out. If you do not have peace about the person you are thinking about marrying, you need to declare them out. Unrest is the Holy Spirit trying to tell you that your heart is not safe with this person. You should not marry him in this case, even if he appears to be perfect for you. He is possibly the right person, but perhaps it is the wrong time. The bottom line: If you do not have peace, then something is wrong. You must wait!

Once again, this brings us back to the concept of being whole. You will know the peace of God about marriage if you have peace in general. If peace isn’t a regular aspect of your life, will you know when it leaves? When the right person enters your life, your peace will remain. When the wrong person enters, your peace will leave.

Excerpt From: Michelle McKinney Hammond & Joel Brooks. “What Women Don’t Know (and Men Don’t Tell You).

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“A man commits based on how he feels in your presence. If you believe that God will supply you with a mate, it makes sense that you will come across this person while you are doing God’s will. That setting allows a man to observe you more closely. I (Joel) have ministered at various churches where someone has caught my eye. When I asked about one gorgeous lady, the pastor’s response was, “She is a good person but her walk has not been consistent.” The recommendation was less than glowing, so I did not proceed any further. This woman never knew I was interested. Many women never realize that their demeanor or the wrong kind of friends or habits may have cost them what could have possibly been a great relationship. Ruth was simply serving her mother-in-law, with no other motive but to serve, when Boaz noticed her. This act of devotion positioned her for her destiny. You never know when your Boaz may be watching.

Be in position. Be in place. Be found doing the will of God with a consistent life and commendable character, as opposed to wanting to get your life together after meeting a good Christian man. If you are walking in the purpose God has designed for your life, you will have a God appointment. You will happen on the place that puts you in plain view of your mate. So check your motivation for being where you are. Is your intention to be productive for the sake of God’s kingdom? If your answer is yes, you will be in the right place at the right time. Or are you going to that church just because a bunch of good-looking single men go there?”


There are five qualities that should be present in the heart of a man you are considering for a mate:
1. He should be moved to provide for you.
2. He should be moved to protect you.
3. He should see himself as the solution to your needs or problems.
4. He should guard your reputation.
5. He should have to go through something to get you, not because you are a victim, but because you are a good woman.

All of these elements came together in the heart of Boaz in the story of the young widow, Ruth.”

Excerpt From: Michelle McKinney Hammond & Joel Brooks. “What Women Don’t Know (and Men Don’t Tell You).”



Available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks, Google Play, Nook, Kindle and others.