I Have No Man (Take Your Life Off of Hold)

Rule #1: Take Your Life Off of Hold.

A country could be run on the energy some women put into endlessly thinking about and discussing how to reach marital status quick, fast, and in a hurry before the biological clock strikes midnight. Their energy is not spent on living a purposeful life, and the joy that other areas of life offer is ignored, for the most part. We call this common disease one-tree-itis—concentrating on the one thing you don’t have while missing the enjoyment from everything else that is at your disposal. The mother of all women, Eve, suffered from one-tree-itis and fell from grace. Ignoring all of her other options for satisfaction, she ate the fruit from the one forbidden tree. Many women have decided, assumed, or been taught that true happiness comes through a relationship with a man. So they postpone their happiness and wholeness until the right man shows up in their life. When they talk about happiness or wholeness, they immediately mention the man who isn’t there or their partner who isn’t right. They may even feel they have a good excuse for being unproductive in other areas of their lives—on which the presence or absence of a man has no bearing.

Are you feeling as if God is holding out on you, refusing to give you a mate, not paying attention to your needs or desires? Are you feeling like a woman’s got to do what a woman’s got to do in order to get what she wants? Are you feeling as if taking matters into your own hands is a better gamble than waiting any longer on God’s divine timing?

You can wait so long for something you think will bring you happiness that waiting actually replaces the pursuit of happiness. As you fix your gaze on that one desire, you postpone or miss your happiness because you don’t recognize present opportunities for joy.

Excerpt From: Michelle McKinney Hammond & Joel Brooks. “What Women Don’t Know (and Men Don’t Tell You).”  – Available on Amazon, BarnesAndNoble, iBooks, GooglePlay, Nook, Kindle and others. To learn more about Michelle, you can visit: www.MichelleHammond.com


Colossians 3:15 says to “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” Another translation of this verse urges you to allow peace to be the referee or umpire in your heart. This makes sense if you have ever been to a baseball game. The player hits the ball and takes off running. The fielder catches the ball and throws it to first base. The runner and ball get there at the same time. The fans who are rooting for the runner insist that he was safe. Those rooting for the defensive team insist that he was out. Both believe what they saw.

The point is, what you want has a lot to do with what you see. If you want this person to be right for you, you tend to only see things that confirm your feelings. But if you allow peace to be the umpire, your heart will be able to rest in the fact that at the right time the right man will declare his love and commitment for you. That peace will enable you to see things as they really are and make the right call on your relationship.

When the runner and the ball have arrived at the base at the same time, no matter what the fans believe they saw, the umpire gives a signal for either safe or out. If you do not have peace about the person you are thinking about marrying, you need to declare them out. Unrest is the Holy Spirit trying to tell you that your heart is not safe with this person. You should not marry him in this case, even if he appears to be perfect for you. He is possibly the right person, but perhaps it is the wrong time. The bottom line: If you do not have peace, then something is wrong. You must wait!

Once again, this brings us back to the concept of being whole. You will know the peace of God about marriage if you have peace in general. If peace isn’t a regular aspect of your life, will you know when it leaves? When the right person enters your life, your peace will remain. When the wrong person enters, your peace will leave.

Excerpt From: Michelle McKinney Hammond & Joel Brooks. “What Women Don’t Know (and Men Don’t Tell You).

Available for purchase on Amazon, BarnesAndNoble, iBooks, GooglePlay, Nook, Kindle and others. To learn more about Michelle McKinney Hammond, visit www.MichelleHammond.com

Remove the Obstacles to Wholeness

Women fall into very different categories regarding the longing for love. The first is “I have no man.” The second is “I have had one man too many.” Varying lines of reason in this second category include the “Hey, someone is better than no one” way of thinking, which can lead to a succession of relationships with the wrong type of men. And there is the “Since there is a shortage of men, I’m not opposed to sharing” group. Then there are those who have suffered so much disappointment with men that they now seek consolation in the arms of other women. All of these responses of the heart spring from disappointment, shame, frustration, and anger. They lead from tearful “Why me’s?” to cynicism to empty eyes and flat voices that conclude, “It doesn’t really matter.”

But it does matter. Your disappointment matters to the One who created love. God wants our love experiences to be far more fulfilling than what they’ve been so far. Jesus demonstrated this intent when he went out of his way to meet a woman who had grown disillusioned from her experiences with love. He told his disciples in John 4:4 that he had to go to Samaria, a place “decent” Jewish folk avoided because they felt the people who lived there were beneath them. Samaritans were not kosher (or “pure”). They were a mixed race. The Jews did not agree with their lifestyles or their religious views, so they put a lot of effort into going around rather than through Samaria. Though Jesus was Jewish, he felt the need to make a stop there. While in the Samaritan desert, after the disciples left in search of food, Jesus sat down by a well to rest and waited until the woman he sought made an appearance.

Excerpt From: Michelle McKinney Hammond & Joel Brooks. “What Women Don’t Know (and Men Don’t Tell You).” – Available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBook, Google Play, Kindle, Nook and others. To learn more, visit: MichelleHammond.com



“A man commits based on how he feels in your presence. If you believe that God will supply you with a mate, it makes sense that you will come across this person while you are doing God’s will. That setting allows a man to observe you more closely. I (Joel) have ministered at various churches where someone has caught my eye. When I asked about one gorgeous lady, the pastor’s response was, “She is a good person but her walk has not been consistent.” The recommendation was less than glowing, so I did not proceed any further. This woman never knew I was interested. Many women never realize that their demeanor or the wrong kind of friends or habits may have cost them what could have possibly been a great relationship. Ruth was simply serving her mother-in-law, with no other motive but to serve, when Boaz noticed her. This act of devotion positioned her for her destiny. You never know when your Boaz may be watching.

Be in position. Be in place. Be found doing the will of God with a consistent life and commendable character, as opposed to wanting to get your life together after meeting a good Christian man. If you are walking in the purpose God has designed for your life, you will have a God appointment. You will happen on the place that puts you in plain view of your mate. So check your motivation for being where you are. Is your intention to be productive for the sake of God’s kingdom? If your answer is yes, you will be in the right place at the right time. Or are you going to that church just because a bunch of good-looking single men go there?”


There are five qualities that should be present in the heart of a man you are considering for a mate:
1. He should be moved to provide for you.
2. He should be moved to protect you.
3. He should see himself as the solution to your needs or problems.
4. He should guard your reputation.
5. He should have to go through something to get you, not because you are a victim, but because you are a good woman.

All of these elements came together in the heart of Boaz in the story of the young widow, Ruth.”

Excerpt From: Michelle McKinney Hammond & Joel Brooks. “What Women Don’t Know (and Men Don’t Tell You).”



Available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks, Google Play, Nook, Kindle and others.

Who Is Lord? God or Satan?

Recently I went to visit a church. After a wonderful time of worship the pastor stepped forward. Without even acknowledging God or mentioning Him in any capacity he launched into full-blown warfare binding devils, witches and every principality he could think of. You could feel the atmosphere change and not for the good. As he continued he finally managed to corral the congregation via guilt and whipped them up to a fine frenzy that looked and sounded like Baal worship by the time it was over.
I stood in fascination. All I could think was I wondered how God really felt about what I had just witnessed. I thought how would I feel if someone came to my house marched past me and spent all their time shouting orders at my servants without acknowledging me? After all if they acknowledged me it would take one word from me for my servants to do what they desired by my bidding.
Jesus said to take his yoke because it was easy and his burden is light. Yet a lot of believers make serving God a lot harder than God ever intended. They work as if working for an idol made of wood who cannot respond or help them instead of approaching a merciful and interested Father God who has invited us to cast our cares on Him because He cares for us. This same God says the battle is His not ours. To be still and know that He is God. To stand fast and see the salvation of the Lord.
Yes the devil is real. Yes, he seeks whom he may devour. Yes he has power. Yes we need to respect that power and observe the right spiritual protocol when dealing with him. Yes it is true that we should not be ignorant of the devils devices and people perish for lack of knowledge. However all of this needs to be put into proper theological perspective. We must align ourselves with the knowledge of God and not pervert His principles based on culture, the occult, fetish or juju spirituality. God’s ways are not our ways. He says our lives will be transformed with the renewing of our minds, therefore we must cast off old mindsets and not try to blend them with the unadulterated word of God.
Though we battle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, rulers, and spiritual wickedness in high places. The inference is that we should not take the things that happen around us personally. We should know the source behind the occurrence and see with spiritual eyes the root cause. When we know what the root is we will have the right response. We will not draw back in fear, fall into depression, give into anger, bitterness and un-forgiveness because we are armed with salvation, truth, faith, and the word of God that will direct and navigate us through the circumstance to victory.
Knowing that the person who offends or hurts us is being manipulated by evil redirects your focus to not internalize what was done but to seek God for direction and victory.
For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Collossians 1:16-17
The bottom line is God has ultimate authority and power over even evil and uses it all for His own purpose to complete His plan. The devil is a created being under the thumb of God though he seems to run rampant. He has already defeated the devil and the devil knows it. Believers also need to know it and keep him and his works in perspective.
Let us do the math. The devil led one third of the angels from heaven. This leaves two thirds of the heavenly host aligned with God, plus all the believers on earth. The devil is outnumbered! He is neither Omnipotent nor Omnipresent. He does not have time to harass you 24-7. He can’t continue to barrage you unless you give him a point of entry. That point of entry is sin. A curse without cause cannot alight. The prophet Balaam said “I can not curse what God has blessed.” When we submit to God and resist the devil he will flee from us. This is one act, not two. Submission to God is automatic resistance to the enemy. He cannot get to us when we are aligned with God. Our obedience becomes the secret place of the most High so that we abide under the shadow of the Almighty. His presence is a fortress that protects us from the enemy, where no weapon formed against us can prosper.
Jesus stripped the devil of all power. When he died, he descended and took the keys of Hell and Death. Satan can’t even go to hell without the permission of Jesus. Jesus has to let him in! No one can die until their appointed time appointed by God. Hell and Death belong to God. Therefore we don’t have to live in fear of anything because to be absent from the body is to be present with Christ.
God says that He will contend with those who contend with us. Trouble those who trouble us and rebuke the devourer for our sakes. The battle is not ours but it is the Lords’. What then should be the focus of our contention? We are instructed to contend for the faith.
So what do we believe? God is Sovereign. We are not subject to the devil. Neither do we have to spend all our time talking to, yelling at or rebuking the devil. There are seasons and times for that. As we are directed by the Holy Spirit in prayer He will call our attention to what we need to confess. But it is God that does battle for us in this dispensation. His battle on our behalf is empowered by our obedience to Him. As the devil operates in legalities he can only attack that which is uncovered. God will not and cannot justify or cover sin. The devil has become a decoy from our own sin. We no longer want to be responsible for our choices, therefore it is easier to say it is the devil instead of claiming ownership for our circumstances.
If we look at history there were only two times that the Israelites went into battle. One, when claiming the promises of God, and two fighting for freedom from their enemies. When they fought to claim the promises of God, God fought for them and won the battle for them. When in bondage to their enemies the cause was always because they had sinned. It was their own sin that lead to their enemies overpowering them and taking them into bondage. When they cried out to God, he taught their hands to war so that they would recognize the state of their own hearts, repent and appreciate the mercy of God and His blessing. Whenever they forgot and fell back into sin they were recaptured.
When we look at the story of Job it is clear that the enemy had to seek permission from God to attack him. God gave Satan permission but it was on the basis of the sins of Job’s children. Job made offerings for his children but he could not be their redeemer. Therefore the door was open for the devil to wipe them out when they sinned. They partied all day and drew their sisters into their feasts. However Job was seen as righteous in the eyes of God. God made a hedge around him and his household that the enemy could not penetrate. But grace was lifted from everybody else around him and they were no longer protected from the enemy. There always has to be an open door before the enemy can strike. In spite of all these great losses Job did not sin or lay charge against God foolishly. Job continued to worship God. He did not give into the influence of his wife or even his friends. This is why Satan was not given permission to kill Job. Satan was used by God to make Job even greater than before.
Every attack on our lives should purify us more. To every blessing there is a process. If we believe that when trouble comes we will remember that Jesus already fought and defeated the enemy in our lives. We are to stand armed with the word ready to submit to every Word that God has spoken. As Jesus did in the wilderness when tempted by the devil. Jesus took every curse on the tree. Arm yourselves with this truth. You are grafted into a new family. Free from generational curses. You now inherit the generational blessings of Jesus Himself as you have been made a joint heir. Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament therefore we live there no longer. We have entered the dispensation of grace that speaks greater truth. As we walk in obedience God builds a hedge around us. The only time it is lowered is when we ourselves choose to sin or if God chooses to take us through a process that will make us greater in order to receive greater blessing.
So let us look unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. He is our focus. He is our strong tower the righteous run into and they are safe. Let us stop going through the motions and fooling ourselves into thinking we can really order the heavens around. It is not proper spiritual protocol. We have given the devil way too much credit. And not given God enough credit for being Lord of His creation. The devil was created and so are we. He is Lord over all. Let us become the worshippers He called us to be. He is looking for worshippers to worship Him in spirit and in truth. Not warriors warring for our own personal gain. He is calling for worshippers who want to further His kingdom agenda. When the kingdom is established we will all experience true peace and joy.

For more info log onto mchellehammond.com. Order a copy of Why Do I Say Yes Wnen I Need to Say No today!

Start Moving and Inspiration Will Come

One of the most common misunderstandings that keeps us stuck is the belief that we need to feel inspired to get started. So we wait for inspiration. We wait to feel like moving forward before we move forward. Days, weeks, even months can pass without that feeling showing up, so we stay right where we are. Paired with that idea is often a simultaneous, erroneous belief that the people out there forging ahead– unstoppable in their progress –are somehow more inspired. Well, that is partly right. They are more inspired. But not for the reason we insist on believing.
Those who are more inspired didn’t get that way because inspiration finds its way to them more often. They are more inspired because they don’t wait for inspiration to move them. They understand that if they start moving, the inspiration will come. So they get moving. They start uninspired. They see the work that needs to be done and realize it must be tackled. They must dive in. They don’t always feel like diving in. They, too, are bombarded by more instant –gratification distractions. However, they have disciplined themselves to not be lured by those distractions – at least not for long.
This single piece of wisdom is worth taping to your desk or using as the background on your laptop or posting somewhere you can be reminded: Start moving and the inspiration will come.
Declaration – I choose to move toward that to which God is calling me. I don’t have to have all the answers up front. I just have to have the faith and self-control to get started.
If your blog is faith –based, feel free to use the prayer below:
Today, God, help me take a step forward. Right now. Not an hour from now. Not tomorrow. When I start moving forward in faith, inspiration comes. Thank You for what is about to happen as I take a step forward in faith! Amen.
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The First Step to Getting Unstuck

Stuck is a pattern of counterproductive thinking or behavior that results in your not moving forward to that which you desire. It is typically a result of internalized fear, confusion, chaos, overwhelm, being lost, lack of clarity, or pessimism. By this definition, being stuck is not something that happens one time. If you stumble once, get back up, and move on, your are not stuck. That’s a mistake. That’s life. But if you find yourself repeatedly in similar situations, struggling with similar challenges, then stuck is an appropriate description.
Maybe there isn’t any one event that seems to define your stuckness. Instead, stuck has become a way of life. You’ve gotten used to it. You may not even think of yourself as stuck anymore. You’ve rationalized that this is just how life is. But deep down, you know you are settling- and you’re really not okay with that, even when you try to convince yourself otherwise. You feel constant uneasiness – a lack of peace – about where things stand in your life. You are somewhat in God’s will, but you want to be perfectly in His will – and that’s going to mean making some shifts and changes.
The first step to getting unstuck is a simple one: Tell yourself the truth and behave based on that truth. Telling yourself the truth is a simple act, but one of the most courageous. It will set you free and on a path to a life that is absolutely unstoppable. Answer some simple but bold questions:
What are you afraid to admit?
What are you really afraid will happen if you take action?
Whose approval are you so afraid of not gaining that you forego your dreams, your vision, and your freedom?
What do you avoid for fear of facing the consequences of change?
What would you have to let go of in order to move toward the life God imagined for you?
I realize these aren’t easy questions, but I believe the answers lie within you. They are so powerful that when you answer them truthfully, your next steps begin to unfold in a big way.
Declaration – Today, I choose to listen to the divine inner wisdom that whispers the truth to me. I will not ignore it. I will not hide from it.
If your blog is faith-based, feel free to use the prayer below:
Lord, give me the courage to face the truth and not ignore it. Give me the faith to trust Your nudges when the truth makes me afraid. Empower me with boldness and courage to take actions that matter. Amen.
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The Issue of Submission

No, it is not in mere men that we trust. Ultimately our faith must be placed in God. And being submissive is not about becoming a doormat. Neither is submission a passive posture. In fact, submission is an active decision to put yourself in a position to be blessed by God. Submission is being a team player, whether in your marriage, in your job, or in the church. It’s allowing someone else to lead at critical moments to that person’s benefit and your own. In marriage it is the highest form of cooperation. It is proof of your trust in God. When you’re married, submitting to your husband empowers him to take his rightful positions in the family—leader, provider, and protector.
Now, life does happen. Your husband may not always be able to fulfill one of those roles at particular times or seasons of his life. This doesn’t lessen who he is or what his roles are in the eyes of God. When your mate is struggling, take the opportunity to strengthen your relationship by building him up and trusting God to fill in the gaps.
Submission empowers you as a couple to move in mutual cooperation, taking one another’s weaknesses and strengths into consideration, so that life is balanced between you accordingly. What this looks like will vary from couple to couple. We need to never force our mates into a stereotype or mold that doesn’t fit them. Each of us have been given specific gifts, and not all of us have the same strengths. Based on this knowledge, you and your mate will determine how your household will run. For instance, you may be better with money than your husband, so the area of finance may be delegated to you. He may be better at negotiating, so making large purchases may fall within his area of responsibility.
The conclusive word on submission in the Word of God is that we are called to submit to each other. This means no one is above or below another. Instead, we’re matched strength for strength in the spirit of respecting, complementing, and honoring one another. No one is less than the other. Woman was created to be a “help meet” for man; therefore, she was created for a position of strength.
Contrary to modern belief, “submission” isn’t a dirty word and doesn’t call for subservience. To believe that it is those things is to fall into the trap the enemy has set for all human relationships. The devil wants to sow discord and disharmony. He wants us to be in conflict. But in God’s creation, whether it be in romance or employment, there must be order for ventures to be successful. There must be an acknowledgement of roles and positions. Even in heaven there is a hierarchy. So we need to be clear on our position and make no comparisons because we submit in God’s name so all praise and honor goes to Him.
When we seek power for ourselves, strife and evil wiggle into our relationships. But as we walk in the best interest of one another, we submit to one another in a way that creates harmony and synergy. Love and good fruit grow in this environment of trust and faith. As we see the power of submission at work in our lives, we’re able to embrace it as a friend. Make it the silent partner in your relationships, and let it champion you to live the best life possible.

An excerpt from Michelle’s new book Getting Smart About Life, Love and Men. Order your copy from Amazon.com or Christianbooks.com today!

How To Live The Life You Hope For

In order to embrace the joy, peace and fulfillment we all long for we need to understand some basic things. A lack of understanding can cause us to focus on the wrong things. Things that take us away from our goal rather than toward it. We must first realize that God created us to reflect His presence and goodness by giving us entré to kingdom living. What is kingdom living? Righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy ghost. This is a place of surrender where we cease from striving against God’s instructions and revel in His provision of every good and perfect gift. The word “Eden” means “pleasure.” It’s true that God longs for us to live lives filled with pleasure! He wishes for us to be successful and be in good health even as our souls prosper in Him. He’s given us all things. But in the midst of this abundance, He withholds what He knows will destroy us. But He’s given us the ability and freedom to choose. So if we press past Him because we’re urged on by suspicions that He is a cosmic killjoy or is holding something good back, we set ourselves up for painful regrets that have lasting effects on ourselves and countless others we touch.
As in the case of Eve. the damage of sin is never to just one person. Others are affected because we’re bound together as a body under the headship of our God. And He is a loving God who longs for us to stop liv- ing lives of disarray and return to His perfect order and plan.
The garden of living in God’s will is a beautiful place of favor and provision, a place without striving where we are free to dwell as long as we surrender to Him. It’s a place where fruit abounds and is available, not by our physical might or our mental power, but by God’s Holy Spirit. When we yield to His instructions, we get to partake of that delicious fruit. When we resist His leading, we forfeit the pleasure of an
abundant harvest. We find ourselves striving to produce what we can in our own strength. But when we’re in sync with God and in His will, we produce more fruit without the stress.
The fruit of our hands and the relationships we’re in can grow bitter in the midst of our do-it-yourself works. We need to resist the temptation to drown out the voice of God with our own desires and demands. Guard against the spirit of entitlement that tries to make you discontent with God’s blessings. That spirit is the beginning of dangerous dis- tractions that can lead to choices that will destroy the joy and peace you seek.
Above all, be aware that God created a void inside of each one of us that only He can fill. The Beguiler would lead you to believe that if you could only have this or that your joy would be complete. This is a lie that will rob you of the very fulfillment you desire and alter your garden experience with God with every time.
God asked Adam, “Who told you that you were naked?” What a loaded question! In God’s presence you will always have exactly what you need. Nothing less…and so much more.
Your Hope
Whatever your regrets, know this: Not one of your experiences in life is wasted. God uses all your mistakes and failings to reveal a greater pic- ture of Himself and the redemption He so generously offers. Though he breaks you, He will also bind your wounds so you will become stronger than ever in Him. And yes, you will become even wiser. It is your Father in heaven’s good pleasure to give you His kingdom. He wants you to experience righteousness, peace, and joy through the Holy Ghost—all the things that are conducive to leading rich and fruitful lives filled with more than you can imagine. Is it possible for your dreams to come true right here on earth? Absolutely! But only as you learn to rejoice within the safe confines of the garden God provides.
Every temptation in life is not a personal attack, but it is a direct sabotage of your God-given destiny by the enemy of your soul. As you see the larger picture of God’s kingdom agenda being worked out in your life, you’ll make choices based on an agenda that reaches beyond your earthly perceptions to God’s heavenly vision. As His will becomes your mission statement, your decisions will be transformed to align with His heart. And that will take you to another level of living the life you hope for.

An excerpt from Michelle’s new release releasing Sept. 1st, Getting Smart About Life Love and Men.
A collection of letters sharing ancient wisdom for today. Order your copy of Getting Smart… on Amazon today! For more info log on to michellehammond.com

Can You Be Whole Without A Man?

A lot of us grew up feeling that wholeness would come from a relationship. Women are taught and believe from a young age that a man will come along who will make everything all right. That some man would be their knight in shining armor. That he will to come sweep them up and rescue them from their doldrums, their boredom, their life as they know it and take them into a whole new life. This is a great hope but it is also an illusion.

Everyday you read any number of different magazines and self help books, all doling out prescriptions and remedies for making ourselves whole without the help of God even though some may talk of a higher power or Supreme Being. But God, in his attempt to make us whole, is much more purposeful and precise than the temporary fixes they offer. He knew we would mess up and came up with a permanent solution. One incredible dose of His prescription for overall wellbeing would restore our emotional health and wholeness – His Son Jesus. Isn’t it incredible that one broken life could make countless others whole? The reason that Jesus came, it says in John 3:16 was to save us. To sozo us, as the original Greek infers. To make us whole, to give us a sense of well being, to save us from bondage and destruction. His desire is to give us an overall feeling of being whole.

Because the Lord is my Shepherd, He restores my soul. That is a promise from God as quoted by King David in Psalms 23. Upon receiving Christ as savior, our spirit is born again and renewed. But there has to be a transformation. That takes place in the renewing of our mind, the saving of our mind, will and emotions. The mind has to think a new way, the emotions have to be harnessed, and the will has to yield to a new and different set of instructions that will be contrary to popular world standards… Doing things Gods way is truly different. The world comes up with a lot of ideas on what it takes to reach that coveted place called wholeness but they are all temporary fixes at best. God has a more permanent fix in mind.

A pregnant woman quickly discovers as her pregnancy progresses that she is no longer in control of her body. The new life inside of her begins to rule. Certain favorite foods no longer agree with her system. She has to change the position she sleeps in. Her clothing has to change to accommodate the new shape she is in. No she is definitely not in control. When we make up our minds that we want a new life we can no longer do things the same way we used to do them. Our habits have to change to allow the new life we crave to be formed in us. These are changes we should be willing to make because we anticipate great things coming from the new life we expect. God wants to give us new life, and even better than that we wants to renovate our love lives but we must be willing to allow Him to rule.

The heat is on. The pressure is mounting daily as society on a whole has forgotten one crucial fact — that we are human beings not human doings. Our whole identity, whether Christian or non-Christian, has become defined by what we do. If someone is a doctor, a lawyer or have some other sort of vocation, which gives them a sense of definition and self, they feel good about themselves. But your vocation can never make you whole. For some people it is money. If they have a lot of it they somehow feel safe, secure and whole. High- end clothing works for others. But money and material possessions cannot provide that which was meant to be provided by God.


Now lets qualify this. There is the capacity for happiness in a relationship between a man and a woman that is not available to a single person. On the other hand, there is also a misery that people who are not in relationships will not experience. Ed Cole, author of Maximized Manhood, says that marriage is the closest thing to heaven or hell that you can find on earth. Therefore it is safe to say that marriage is not the key to happiness. God would not base our wholeness on something that requires another
person’s participation. It was always Gods ideal that when two people are married they were to share one hope, one spirit, treat each other with love, serve one another, and respect one another so that it could be an awesome relationship that brought joy to the participants and glorified Him. However when one person is joined to a mate that has different values that they do not respect they will have difficulty serving one another as they should. Unfortunately, for this reason more people are enduring hurting relationships than enjoying healthy ones.

The illusion that was painted for Adam and Eve is still being presented to us today — that we can be independent of God, make our own judgments, make our own decisions and still be whole. This line of thinking was proven wrong from the beginning of time and continues to carry us further and further away from the wholeness we crave… When God comes on the scene the question, “Where are you?” (the same question he asked Adam and Eve) voices His thoughts toward us. In other words, you did what you thought you should do and it turned out badly. Now are you ready to do what I tell you to do? Or do you still think my instructions are a hindrance that will somehow keep you from happiness as opposed to positioning you to receive it?

We need to take another look at an often-used Bible word “repent”. Most definitions of this word say to turn. If you look at the root and break the word down, re, the prefix, means to do over and pent means to think or to re-think. The reason we make bad decisions is because of a flawed belief system. We have arrived at inaccurate conclusions, the basis for wrong decisions, which sends us in the wrong direction. Therefore we arrive at the wrong location.

God wants to us to believe the counsel He offers, seize it, live it and get on with the joyful business of being whole. Noted author and teacher, Mike Murdock, states that whatever has distracted you has mastered you. On too many occasions, while on the road to wholeness, we get distracted by the things that we were taught would make us whole. Just like our friend that Jesus found lying by the pool. In his mind, his wholeness was based on a person … Are you lying by the same pool? What will your answer be when Jesus asks “Do you want to be whole?” Surely you can think of a better answer than, “ I have no man.”

Excerpt from “What Women Don’t Know and Men Don’t Tell You” order your copy on Amazon.com or Christianbooks.com today.

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